Certain people have said that I was 'crazy', and not in a good way. And, while I've had psychologists and psychiatrists say that I am most definitely NOT 'crazy', I DO have a personality 'disorder'. Of course, it's just a lot easier for some people to label me as 'crazy' because then they can say all matter of things against me to make themselves appear superior, and of course, less 'crazy' than they accuse me of being.
Here's the thing...If you believed a person to truly be 'crazy', wouldn't you have enough sense to NOT push their buttons? NOT piss them off? I mean, 'crazy' people, people who are called 'unstable', are REALLY 'crazy' and 'unstable', and they can be dangerous if you push them too far.
So, either the people who call me 'crazy', (in bad ways), are either crazier than what they are accusing me of, or they know that I am not 'crazy' and just want to tear me down to their level.
Certainly something to consider!
Friday, March 6, 2015
It Never Fails...
It never fails...If I ever say aloud that I enjoy doing something, no matter what it is, my family will do everything within their power to sabotage it and create situations where I will not be able to do the things that I said I enjoyed.
I kind of thought that if you loved someone you would want them to be happy and do the things that made them happy, even if you thought it was silly or didn't comprehend why they were doing such a stupid hobby.
I'm pretty sure that these people do not love me and view me only as 'The Help'.
I am starting to think that believing in reincarnation might be a hopeful thing, for if I ever do come back, I'm going to shoot for the life of a spinster who lives in the woods among nature, writing books and playing her banjo, singing to the birds, dancing with the squirrels, stitching away at samplers and quilts, and sleeping whenever she wants!!!
I kind of thought that if you loved someone you would want them to be happy and do the things that made them happy, even if you thought it was silly or didn't comprehend why they were doing such a stupid hobby.
I'm pretty sure that these people do not love me and view me only as 'The Help'.
I am starting to think that believing in reincarnation might be a hopeful thing, for if I ever do come back, I'm going to shoot for the life of a spinster who lives in the woods among nature, writing books and playing her banjo, singing to the birds, dancing with the squirrels, stitching away at samplers and quilts, and sleeping whenever she wants!!!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
January 1rst, 2015
January 1rst, 2015
Today hasn't felt anymore special than yesterday, or the day before that, or last week even. Just another day, like so many before.
I woke up this morning, made breakfast and then started cooking lunch with the customary black-eyed peas, cabbage, etc..
The drain pipe in the kitchen was frozen and because I don't possess an iota of patience, I took a butcher knife out and cut it so that I could wash dishes. I marveled at the icicles hanging under the eaves of the cabin, the ice on my vehicle, the white patches of ice on the ground and the ice on the empty propane bottle. It was fairly cold out this morning, that is for sure!
Last night, after Husband came in from hunting, and after I had canned 7 quarts of venison, (my first experience canning anything. Ever.), I went back out into the cold with him to look for his wounded deer. We walked around in a thick draw for over 2 hours, with temps in the 20's, looking for that deer.
It was so still. So quiet. Me with my flashlight going one direction and Husband with his going another, it never occurred to me that a booger bear might jump out and kill me as I clumsily searched through the forty pockets on my parka for my pistol that was on safety and didn't have a shell in the chamber. Nope. Never even thought of that. I just searched the ground for a blood trail or a hoof print, looking under brush, barreling through dense mesquite and cacti thickets as if booger bears ought to be scared of me. At one point, I got into a thicket and couldn't get out. I stopped and said to the night, "Damn, fellers. I'm in a tight spot." I finally called out to Husband, "O Husband! Where art thou?" He found me quickly and plowed through a bush to make me a gate, saving me from my thorny prison.
Sometimes husbands are good to have around!
Still, I loved every minute of that search, even if we failed to find the deer. Personally, I think the deer had a minor flesh wound.
We got back to the cabin and he said, "I see you built the fire in the fire pit up earlier." I said, "Yeah. I stepped outside and it was cold, so I threw some logs on the dwindling fire, then went back into the house and stood by the heater and watched the logs burn through the window. I figured the deer needed some heat." He chuckled and said, "It must have worked 'cause it's warmer now than it was before dark."
Anyway, after lunch today, I loaded my truck and my youngest kiddo and headed home. When I stepped into my 'in town' house, I was so happy that I didn't utter a word about the boys housekeeping skills, or lack thereof. Instead, I went to cleaning and doing laundry, and by dark I had swept and mopped the entire house, washed four loads of laundry and two sink fulls of dirty dishes, made dinner and an Apple Crisp, and took down the Christmas tree!
A week ago I prayed, "Lord, let me be content with this house. Let me love and appreciate it, even all of it's warts and failings. Let me appreciate this house. Please."
Well, He did...He allowed me to spend three days and nights at the unfinished, uninsulated cabin during the worst cold snap we've had in about a year. Frozen pipes, cold unfinished floors, sweaty unfinished ceilings, drafty spaces, frozen drains. Unless I was standing on top of the awesome heater, I was freezing. The heater does a great job, but without insulation that heat goes up to the roof where it causes condensation to gather and then drip on my head and shoulders while I'm trying to wash the dishes or read a book or sleep! I even told Husband, "I need to wear a slicker coat to bed and have an umbrella over my head just to wash the dishes!"
Totally annoying...especially when it's 23 degrees outside and you've got water dripping on your face while you are trying to sleep!
So, I walked inside the 'in town' house this afternoon and smiled! No drippy ceilings. No frozen pipes. No drafts. No cold, unfinished floors.
Yeah, God is pretty awesome about answering prayers!
My 'in town' house isn't much, but at times like these, I am thanking God for it!
Maybe this first day of 2015 wasn't so ordinary, after all. Maybe 2015 will have me paying closer attention to the really great things that God has blessed me with. Maybe 2015 will be a year to see the positives in my life, to be more appreciative of the little things, and hopefully, walk closer with God.
Another year...What a blessing!
Today hasn't felt anymore special than yesterday, or the day before that, or last week even. Just another day, like so many before.
I woke up this morning, made breakfast and then started cooking lunch with the customary black-eyed peas, cabbage, etc..
The drain pipe in the kitchen was frozen and because I don't possess an iota of patience, I took a butcher knife out and cut it so that I could wash dishes. I marveled at the icicles hanging under the eaves of the cabin, the ice on my vehicle, the white patches of ice on the ground and the ice on the empty propane bottle. It was fairly cold out this morning, that is for sure!
Last night, after Husband came in from hunting, and after I had canned 7 quarts of venison, (my first experience canning anything. Ever.), I went back out into the cold with him to look for his wounded deer. We walked around in a thick draw for over 2 hours, with temps in the 20's, looking for that deer.
It was so still. So quiet. Me with my flashlight going one direction and Husband with his going another, it never occurred to me that a booger bear might jump out and kill me as I clumsily searched through the forty pockets on my parka for my pistol that was on safety and didn't have a shell in the chamber. Nope. Never even thought of that. I just searched the ground for a blood trail or a hoof print, looking under brush, barreling through dense mesquite and cacti thickets as if booger bears ought to be scared of me. At one point, I got into a thicket and couldn't get out. I stopped and said to the night, "Damn, fellers. I'm in a tight spot." I finally called out to Husband, "O Husband! Where art thou?" He found me quickly and plowed through a bush to make me a gate, saving me from my thorny prison.
Sometimes husbands are good to have around!
Still, I loved every minute of that search, even if we failed to find the deer. Personally, I think the deer had a minor flesh wound.
We got back to the cabin and he said, "I see you built the fire in the fire pit up earlier." I said, "Yeah. I stepped outside and it was cold, so I threw some logs on the dwindling fire, then went back into the house and stood by the heater and watched the logs burn through the window. I figured the deer needed some heat." He chuckled and said, "It must have worked 'cause it's warmer now than it was before dark."
Anyway, after lunch today, I loaded my truck and my youngest kiddo and headed home. When I stepped into my 'in town' house, I was so happy that I didn't utter a word about the boys housekeeping skills, or lack thereof. Instead, I went to cleaning and doing laundry, and by dark I had swept and mopped the entire house, washed four loads of laundry and two sink fulls of dirty dishes, made dinner and an Apple Crisp, and took down the Christmas tree!
A week ago I prayed, "Lord, let me be content with this house. Let me love and appreciate it, even all of it's warts and failings. Let me appreciate this house. Please."
Well, He did...He allowed me to spend three days and nights at the unfinished, uninsulated cabin during the worst cold snap we've had in about a year. Frozen pipes, cold unfinished floors, sweaty unfinished ceilings, drafty spaces, frozen drains. Unless I was standing on top of the awesome heater, I was freezing. The heater does a great job, but without insulation that heat goes up to the roof where it causes condensation to gather and then drip on my head and shoulders while I'm trying to wash the dishes or read a book or sleep! I even told Husband, "I need to wear a slicker coat to bed and have an umbrella over my head just to wash the dishes!"
Totally annoying...especially when it's 23 degrees outside and you've got water dripping on your face while you are trying to sleep!
So, I walked inside the 'in town' house this afternoon and smiled! No drippy ceilings. No frozen pipes. No drafts. No cold, unfinished floors.
Yeah, God is pretty awesome about answering prayers!
My 'in town' house isn't much, but at times like these, I am thanking God for it!
Maybe this first day of 2015 wasn't so ordinary, after all. Maybe 2015 will have me paying closer attention to the really great things that God has blessed me with. Maybe 2015 will be a year to see the positives in my life, to be more appreciative of the little things, and hopefully, walk closer with God.
Another year...What a blessing!
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
100 Questions...Yes or No
100 Questions...Yes or No
1.You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems now, here's what you're supposed to do. . . Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you'd like to.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
1. Kissed any one of your Facebook friends?--- Yes
2. Kissed someone you didn't like? --- No
3. Slept in until 5 PM? --- No
4. Fallen asleep at work/school? ---Yes
5. Held a snake? --Yes
6. Ran a red light? --- Yes
7. Been suspended from school? --- Yes
8. Experienced love at first sight? --- Yes
9. Totaled your car in an accident? --- No
10. Been fired from a job? --- Yes
11. Fired somebody? --- Yes
12. Sang karaoke? ---Yes
13. Pointed a gun at someone? ---Yes
14. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes
15. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes
16. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
17. Kissed in the rain? --- Yes
18. Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes
19. Seen someone die? --- Yes
20. Played spin-the-bottle? --- No
21. Sang in the shower? ---Yes
22. Smoked a cigar? ---Yes
23. Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes
24. Smuggled something into another country? --- No
25. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- Yes
26. Broken a bone? --- Yes
27. Skipped school? --- Yes
28. Eaten a bug? --- Yes
29. Sleepwalked? --- No
30.Walked a moonlit beach? --- Yes
31. Rode a motorcycle? --- Yes
32. Dumped someone? --- Yes
33. Forgotten your anniversary? --- No
34. Lied to avoid a ticket? --- No
35 Ridden on a helicopter? --- No
36. Shaved your head? --- No
37. Blacked out from drinking? --- No
38. Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
39. Hit a home run? -- Yes
40. Felt like killing someone? --- Yes
41. Cross-dressed? --- No
42. Been falling-down drunk? --- No
43. Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes
44. Eaten snake? --- No
45. Marched/Protested? --- No
46. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- Yes
47. Puked on amusement ride? No
48. Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- Yes
49. Been in a band? --- No
50. Knitted? --- No
51. Been on TV? --- Yes
52. Shot a gun? --- Yes
53. Skinny-dipped? --- Yes
54. Gave someone stitches? --- No
55. Eaten a whole habenero pepper? --- Yes
56. Ridden a surfboard? --- No
57. Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes
58. Had surgery? --- Yes
59. Streaked? --- No
60. Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- No
61. Tripped on mushrooms? ---No
62. Passed out when not drinking? --- No
63. Peed on a bush? --- Yes
64. Donated Blood? --- Yes
65. Grabbed electric fence? --- Yes
66. Eaten alligator meat? --- Yes
67. Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes
68. Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes
69. Killed an animal when not hunting? --- Yes
70 Peed your pants in public? --- No
71. Snuck into a movie without paying? --- No
72. Written graffiti? --- No
73. Still love someone you shouldn't? --- No
74. Think about the future? --- Yes
75. Been in handcuffs? --- Yes
76. Believe in love? --- Yes
77. Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes
78. Cheated on someone?--- No
79. Eaten till your stomach hurts? ---Yes
80. Had a cavity?---Yes
81. Been searched?---Yes
82. Been so happy you cried?---Yes
83. So mad that you laughed?---Yes
84. Played strip poker?--- No
85. Eaten Liver or Kidney? ---Yes
86. Driven a car over 100 mph? ---Yes
87. Gambled? ---Yes
88. Rode an elephant? --- No
89. Touched a wild animal?-- Yes
90. Use a telescope? --- Yes
91. Done double dutch? --- Yes
92. Gotten a New Year's kiss? ---Yes
93. Been to Spain? ---No
94. Pulled a muscle before? ---Yes
95. Hired a private detective? ---No
96. Went into a public bathroom barefoot? --No
97. Watched a marathon of TV shows? --Yes
98. Questioned yourself? ---Yes
99. Wished you were famous? ---Yes
100. Been dumped?--- Yes
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems now, here's what you're supposed to do. . . Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag as many of your friends as you'd like to.
------- ------- ------- ------- ------- -------
1. Kissed any one of your Facebook friends?--- Yes
2. Kissed someone you didn't like? --- No
3. Slept in until 5 PM? --- No
4. Fallen asleep at work/school? ---Yes
5. Held a snake? --Yes
6. Ran a red light? --- Yes
7. Been suspended from school? --- Yes
8. Experienced love at first sight? --- Yes
9. Totaled your car in an accident? --- No
10. Been fired from a job? --- Yes
11. Fired somebody? --- Yes
12. Sang karaoke? ---Yes
13. Pointed a gun at someone? ---Yes
14. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes
15. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes
16. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
17. Kissed in the rain? --- Yes
18. Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes
19. Seen someone die? --- Yes
20. Played spin-the-bottle? --- No
21. Sang in the shower? ---Yes
22. Smoked a cigar? ---Yes
23. Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes
24. Smuggled something into another country? --- No
25. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- Yes
26. Broken a bone? --- Yes
27. Skipped school? --- Yes
28. Eaten a bug? --- Yes
29. Sleepwalked? --- No
30.Walked a moonlit beach? --- Yes
31. Rode a motorcycle? --- Yes
32. Dumped someone? --- Yes
33. Forgotten your anniversary? --- No
34. Lied to avoid a ticket? --- No
35 Ridden on a helicopter? --- No
36. Shaved your head? --- No
37. Blacked out from drinking? --- No
38. Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
39. Hit a home run? -- Yes
40. Felt like killing someone? --- Yes
41. Cross-dressed? --- No
42. Been falling-down drunk? --- No
43. Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes
44. Eaten snake? --- No
45. Marched/Protested? --- No
46. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- Yes
47. Puked on amusement ride? No
48. Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- Yes
49. Been in a band? --- No
50. Knitted? --- No
51. Been on TV? --- Yes
52. Shot a gun? --- Yes
53. Skinny-dipped? --- Yes
54. Gave someone stitches? --- No
55. Eaten a whole habenero pepper? --- Yes
56. Ridden a surfboard? --- No
57. Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes
58. Had surgery? --- Yes
59. Streaked? --- No
60. Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- No
61. Tripped on mushrooms? ---No
62. Passed out when not drinking? --- No
63. Peed on a bush? --- Yes
64. Donated Blood? --- Yes
65. Grabbed electric fence? --- Yes
66. Eaten alligator meat? --- Yes
67. Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes
68. Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes
69. Killed an animal when not hunting? --- Yes
70 Peed your pants in public? --- No
71. Snuck into a movie without paying? --- No
72. Written graffiti? --- No
73. Still love someone you shouldn't? --- No
74. Think about the future? --- Yes
75. Been in handcuffs? --- Yes
76. Believe in love? --- Yes
77. Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes
78. Cheated on someone?--- No
79. Eaten till your stomach hurts? ---Yes
80. Had a cavity?---Yes
81. Been searched?---Yes
82. Been so happy you cried?---Yes
83. So mad that you laughed?---Yes
84. Played strip poker?--- No
85. Eaten Liver or Kidney? ---Yes
86. Driven a car over 100 mph? ---Yes
87. Gambled? ---Yes
88. Rode an elephant? --- No
89. Touched a wild animal?-- Yes
90. Use a telescope? --- Yes
91. Done double dutch? --- Yes
92. Gotten a New Year's kiss? ---Yes
93. Been to Spain? ---No
94. Pulled a muscle before? ---Yes
95. Hired a private detective? ---No
96. Went into a public bathroom barefoot? --No
97. Watched a marathon of TV shows? --Yes
98. Questioned yourself? ---Yes
99. Wished you were famous? ---Yes
100. Been dumped?--- Yes
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Spending time away...
I checked the Game Camera this morning.The only creepy part was that less
than 30 minutes before I checked
the camera Saturday morning, the javelina
was there. I've heard lots of people say
that javelina aren't anything to worry
about...I call Bullshit on that!!! Other
people can be fascinated by them, just
like some people are fascinated by bear
and snakes, but I'll stick to safety first
and leave those mean bastards alone!
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Do I Dare?
My entire life, I have been a dreamer, a planner, a thinker, a hoper.
I dream of big things. I plan out how things will be if those dreams come true. I think of what I will do with those plans and those dreams, and I hope that someday they materialize.
Many times I've seriously considered giving up. Just stopping...stop dreaming, stop planning, stop thinking, stop hoping, just stop living. But from somewhere deep inside, a little voice whispers, "Don't give up. Hope is still here."
So, off I go again, creating dreams in my head and chasing them.
Yet, I've reached a point in my life where I catch myself thinking, "Am I too old to dream anymore? Am I healthy enough? Do I have enough time left to chase after a dream, plan for it, think about it, even hope for it?"
Still, the dreams beckon me...They almost shout out my name at times, or so it seems. They say, "We're not done yet! Don't give up on us just yet."
This afternoon as I took my walk I looked up at the sky and I asked God, "Do I dare? Do I dare to pursue another dream? Even if you give me many years, am I strong enough to handle another disappointment? The heartbreak of another unfulfilled dream, another "No!" from you? Do I dare to take another chance?"
My body tires so easily these days and I just fear that I will lack the physical energy to see this new dream through.
My mind screams, "GO FOR IT!", but my body says, "I'm tired. I just don't know if I can take even the possibility of another disappointment."
I sure wish things were easy.
Do I dare to take a risk, or do I play it safe and take a nap?
I dream of big things. I plan out how things will be if those dreams come true. I think of what I will do with those plans and those dreams, and I hope that someday they materialize.
Many times I've seriously considered giving up. Just stopping...stop dreaming, stop planning, stop thinking, stop hoping, just stop living. But from somewhere deep inside, a little voice whispers, "Don't give up. Hope is still here."
So, off I go again, creating dreams in my head and chasing them.
Yet, I've reached a point in my life where I catch myself thinking, "Am I too old to dream anymore? Am I healthy enough? Do I have enough time left to chase after a dream, plan for it, think about it, even hope for it?"
Still, the dreams beckon me...They almost shout out my name at times, or so it seems. They say, "We're not done yet! Don't give up on us just yet."
This afternoon as I took my walk I looked up at the sky and I asked God, "Do I dare? Do I dare to pursue another dream? Even if you give me many years, am I strong enough to handle another disappointment? The heartbreak of another unfulfilled dream, another "No!" from you? Do I dare to take another chance?"
My body tires so easily these days and I just fear that I will lack the physical energy to see this new dream through.
My mind screams, "GO FOR IT!", but my body says, "I'm tired. I just don't know if I can take even the possibility of another disappointment."
I sure wish things were easy.
Do I dare to take a risk, or do I play it safe and take a nap?
Monday, September 22, 2014
My Brother Jimmy
Growing up, I was the oldest of four children, and the only girl.
Two and a half years after I was born, my first brother came along the day before Christmas. I was always an observant child and so when Momma brought him home from the hospital and he begin to cry, I told her to take him back to the hospital and get her money back. I mean, he seemed kind of faulty to me at the time with all of that fussing and crying. But before long, he became my best friend and I watched over him like a hawk. I helped him learn how to walk, as any good sister would, and when he would start peeling all of his clothes off in the front yard, I would undo the diaper pins for him so that he wouldn't poke himself. I never did understand why mother would get so upset and take a switch to me. After all, how many four year old children can change or remove a diaper without poking themselves or their brothers? Later, we would sit side by side for hours building sand fences and corralling pill bugs, or raiding the goose's nest under the house and breaking the eggs open as we played like we were cooking breakfast. Of course, we never told mother and she just assumed that snakes were getting her geese eggs. As we grew older, Daddy would have a load of dirt brought in to fill a low place in the yard, and my brother and I would build roads, lakes, dams and even subdivisions using the Tonka toys he always got for Christmas, as well as the garden hoe. (Daddy was a smart man...He gave us kids dirt to play in and we eventually got that dirt pile leveled and then he would get another load brought in.) Some of our biggest fights were over land lines, land grabs and construction equipment theft, and we would do battle that would have made William Wallace proud as we whopped each other with clubs and screamed obscenities from our mud smeared faces. (Our Wallace gene ran strong, even before we knew we possessed it!) Sometimes, we would join forces and attack our younger brother who joined the clan in 1968. But mostly, if 2nd brother made us mad, we would just hold him down and tickle him until he peed his pants. He would come up swinging and we would run away from him together, laughing our heads off. As we grew older, we did chores together; feeding chickens, gathering eggs, milking the cow, gardening, yard work, whatever. It was usually us two oldest...as 2nd brother spent more time getting out of work than we did doing work. 2nd brother was a charmer, a clown and a comedian. He was momma's favorite and he could get by with saying and doing things that momma would have truly killed us over. And if you think this made us mad, you'd be correct. There were a few times where momma did not give him the spanking he deserved, but we would! Much later the fourth child joined us and we all had a hand in spoiling him rotten because he was 'our baby'. To this day he is rotten, and we have only ourselves to blame.
While I love all of my brothers...warts and all...Number one brother will always be the one I feel most at home with. Even as children, he was steady and unchanging, dependable and constant. I, on the other hand, was either like the wind: flighty, changing, floating around with my head in the clouds, or a forest fire: hot tempered and destroying everything in my path.
Last night I spoke to him over the telephone and when I got off an hour later I smiled. In this world where everything and everyone changes, where nothing seems dependable and people's emotions are like the waves on a stormy, unpredictable ocean, my brother remains steady, unchanging, dependable and constant.
I am so glad that momma didn't return him when he was a baby. There's no amount of money that could ever replace my brother, Jimmy.
Two and a half years after I was born, my first brother came along the day before Christmas. I was always an observant child and so when Momma brought him home from the hospital and he begin to cry, I told her to take him back to the hospital and get her money back. I mean, he seemed kind of faulty to me at the time with all of that fussing and crying. But before long, he became my best friend and I watched over him like a hawk. I helped him learn how to walk, as any good sister would, and when he would start peeling all of his clothes off in the front yard, I would undo the diaper pins for him so that he wouldn't poke himself. I never did understand why mother would get so upset and take a switch to me. After all, how many four year old children can change or remove a diaper without poking themselves or their brothers? Later, we would sit side by side for hours building sand fences and corralling pill bugs, or raiding the goose's nest under the house and breaking the eggs open as we played like we were cooking breakfast. Of course, we never told mother and she just assumed that snakes were getting her geese eggs. As we grew older, Daddy would have a load of dirt brought in to fill a low place in the yard, and my brother and I would build roads, lakes, dams and even subdivisions using the Tonka toys he always got for Christmas, as well as the garden hoe. (Daddy was a smart man...He gave us kids dirt to play in and we eventually got that dirt pile leveled and then he would get another load brought in.) Some of our biggest fights were over land lines, land grabs and construction equipment theft, and we would do battle that would have made William Wallace proud as we whopped each other with clubs and screamed obscenities from our mud smeared faces. (Our Wallace gene ran strong, even before we knew we possessed it!) Sometimes, we would join forces and attack our younger brother who joined the clan in 1968. But mostly, if 2nd brother made us mad, we would just hold him down and tickle him until he peed his pants. He would come up swinging and we would run away from him together, laughing our heads off. As we grew older, we did chores together; feeding chickens, gathering eggs, milking the cow, gardening, yard work, whatever. It was usually us two oldest...as 2nd brother spent more time getting out of work than we did doing work. 2nd brother was a charmer, a clown and a comedian. He was momma's favorite and he could get by with saying and doing things that momma would have truly killed us over. And if you think this made us mad, you'd be correct. There were a few times where momma did not give him the spanking he deserved, but we would! Much later the fourth child joined us and we all had a hand in spoiling him rotten because he was 'our baby'. To this day he is rotten, and we have only ourselves to blame.
While I love all of my brothers...warts and all...Number one brother will always be the one I feel most at home with. Even as children, he was steady and unchanging, dependable and constant. I, on the other hand, was either like the wind: flighty, changing, floating around with my head in the clouds, or a forest fire: hot tempered and destroying everything in my path.
Last night I spoke to him over the telephone and when I got off an hour later I smiled. In this world where everything and everyone changes, where nothing seems dependable and people's emotions are like the waves on a stormy, unpredictable ocean, my brother remains steady, unchanging, dependable and constant.
I am so glad that momma didn't return him when he was a baby. There's no amount of money that could ever replace my brother, Jimmy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)